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A post on my Facebook feed reminded me that we were in Saint Charles, IL exactly one year ago. We had an awesome time together just enjoying a weekend away with each other.
And right now? I hate everything about our lives.
This job my fiance tried isn't working out, so he's giving it one last push on Monday with another company. He'll have to drive nearly to Detroit (3 hours one way) just for the chance, but it's worth it if it means we can get back up on our feet. Otherwise, we're moving back to Tennessee to live with his mom.
I also had an argument with my mom at the end of February, so she went on a power trip and had my nephew put in daycare, taking away our only source of income. She'll deny it, but that's exactly what happened (and I have written proof). I've reached a breaking point with her manipulation and guilt-tripping, so I'm not really on speaking terms with her at the moment. I've only talked to her once in the last month, and that conversation quickly turned into her denying she did anything wrong and putting herself as some martyr. Eh... it's just one big mess that I don't feel like dwelling on.
On top of that, we may be cancelling the wedding. I'm sad about that. We've been together for nearly 11 years, so marriage ultimately won't change anything, but it's something we've wanted for a long time. Maybe in the future, once things get better.
It's funny how things change over the course of a year. I was so happy about everything last year, and now I just want to crawl under my blankets and watch the world go by.
And right now? I hate everything about our lives.
This job my fiance tried isn't working out, so he's giving it one last push on Monday with another company. He'll have to drive nearly to Detroit (3 hours one way) just for the chance, but it's worth it if it means we can get back up on our feet. Otherwise, we're moving back to Tennessee to live with his mom.
I also had an argument with my mom at the end of February, so she went on a power trip and had my nephew put in daycare, taking away our only source of income. She'll deny it, but that's exactly what happened (and I have written proof). I've reached a breaking point with her manipulation and guilt-tripping, so I'm not really on speaking terms with her at the moment. I've only talked to her once in the last month, and that conversation quickly turned into her denying she did anything wrong and putting herself as some martyr. Eh... it's just one big mess that I don't feel like dwelling on.
On top of that, we may be cancelling the wedding. I'm sad about that. We've been together for nearly 11 years, so marriage ultimately won't change anything, but it's something we've wanted for a long time. Maybe in the future, once things get better.
It's funny how things change over the course of a year. I was so happy about everything last year, and now I just want to crawl under my blankets and watch the world go by.