artanis: (TR Reboot: Lara)
Packing is going alright. Slow, but alright. I'm slowly becoming okay with the fact that we're heading back to Tennessee. We have a few plans in place for when we get there, so hopefully everything will go somewhat smoothly.

The biggest thing is that I'm planning on going back to school. After doing a lot of thinking and talking about it, I've decided to go back to become a teacher, though I'm still undecided on the type that I want to be. Part of me wants to teach middle/high school history, and the other part of me wants to stick with general education for elementary school kids, specifically kindergarten or first grade. My fiance's old college is near where we'll be living and has an excellent education program so we'll see how that goes.

I've been working on a few crochet projects in my spare time just to use up some of my extra yarn. I have a couple of hats in the works, along with a "brain-dead" throw. Maybe I'm finally getting my motivation back, which is weird considering the circumstances...

I also took a short break from Guild Wars 2, but now I'm back into it. I'm mostly sticking with World vs. World with my fiance for right now, but it's still a lot of fun. Some of the fights against the other servers are ridiculous, and we're almost always outnumbered, but still... plenty of fun times. It's doing a lot to take my mind off of the bad things.
artanis: (Mirror's Edge: Faith on the Edge)
So it's been decided.

We're leaving.

... I'm not really sure how I'm feeling at the moment. Defeated, mostly.
artanis: (Mirror's Edge: Faith on the Edge)
A post on my Facebook feed reminded me that we were in Saint Charles, IL exactly one year ago. We had an awesome time together just enjoying a weekend away with each other.

And right now? I hate everything about our lives.

This job my fiance tried isn't working out, so he's giving it one last push on Monday with another company. He'll have to drive nearly to Detroit (3 hours one way) just for the chance, but it's worth it if it means we can get back up on our feet. Otherwise, we're moving back to Tennessee to live with his mom.

I also had an argument with my mom at the end of February, so she went on a power trip and had my nephew put in daycare, taking away our only source of income. She'll deny it, but that's exactly what happened (and I have written proof). I've reached a breaking point with her manipulation and guilt-tripping, so I'm not really on speaking terms with her at the moment. I've only talked to her once in the last month, and that conversation quickly turned into her denying she did anything wrong and putting herself as some martyr. Eh... it's just one big mess that I don't feel like dwelling on.

On top of that, we may be cancelling the wedding. I'm sad about that. We've been together for nearly 11 years, so marriage ultimately won't change anything, but it's something we've wanted for a long time. Maybe in the future, once things get better.

It's funny how things change over the course of a year. I was so happy about everything last year, and now I just want to crawl under my blankets and watch the world go by.
artanis: (TR Reboot: Lara)
My efforts to wake up early last week were cut short. I came down with a cold early last week and it pretty much knocked me on my ass. I'm mostly over it now, though I think I may have an ear infection or something. It's not fun, but I'm not going to use it as an excuse; I'm getting right back up on that horse this week. So there.

With any luck, my fiance will be ready to start his sales this weekend. I've got my fingers crossed for him.

Guild Wars 2 has been pretty fun with our group so far. After getting to 80, I decided that I didn't want to main an Elementalist, so I'm leveling up a Ranger to tag along with the group. We also managed to get two more people from my fiance's gaming group interested in the game, so now there's seven of us running around and leveling. It should be fun when the majority of them get to 30 and we can start running dungeons a bit more.

And as a final note, peanut butter cookies will be made tomorrow! Yay!
artanis: (She-Ra: Princess)
I am so bad about this update thing.

I am happy to report that I've actually started working on those goals I posted in my last entry. I joined a guild on Guild Wars 2 (granted, it's made up of my fiance and mutual friends), and I woke up early this morning to get a walk in before the day really started. It's a small step, but yay, progress!

The other good news is that my fiance may finally have some income. He found a company that he likes to hire him as an independent agent. It's a commission-based job, but at least it's something right now. And it puts his insurance licenses to good use.

I've also put some thought into going back to school. There's a college around here that does baking classes, and the idea is pretty appealing to me. I've always wanted to open up my own little bakery for sweet, delicious, cavity-inducing goodness, or, at the very least, work in one. Mmm, sweet breakfasts...
artanis: (Mirror's Edge: Faith on the Edge)
Another new year, another attempt at changes.

I was looking through some of my old entries and realized just how little I managed to accomplish this year. A lot dreams that I kept putting off and random failures, but there's not really a point to dwelling on the negative now, right? Right.

I will do at least one craft show this year. I have the time, along with the means and motivation. My craft stashes have been sorted and projects have already been started.

I will be able to run a 5k this year. Maybe not an official race, but I will manage to make myself run three miles. I have a route mapped out from my walks last summer that works out perfectly. I don't care if it takes me an hour to run it, I'm doing it this year.

Being more social. I never open up to conversations, even online. This journal has no added friends on it. I've quit playing decent MMOs due to not having a guild. I've been a member of Ravelry since 2008, yet I've never even made one post on any of the forums. Why? Because I'm too shy and embarrassed to put myself out there. This needs to stop.

My body won't beat me. Over the past year I've managed to lose nearly 50 pounds. While I recognize that it's a lot of weight gone, it's still not enough for me. I know it's a cliche goal, but with the wedding coming up, I can't think of a better time to get back into the swing of things.

Get back to cooking. I've slacked off a lot when it comes to preparing meals at home, especially during the holidays. It's easy to just grab a frozen meal or fast food while we're out, but I miss real food.

Sort all the things, especially clothes. My closet's a mess. That's really all that needs to be said about that.

It's not every goal I have, but it's something to start with. Hopefully this year will be a good one.
artanis: (She-Ra: Princess)
So, the blanket is finally (mostly) done. All that's left is to weave in the ends and take photos. I'm so ridiculously happy that I stuck with it and finished in time for Christmas. It's a huge weight off my shoulders.

I'm on a bit of a "crocheter's high" right now, so I started going through my stash to organize everything. All of my yarns are going to be sorted by fiber type and color, with half-finished projects either being completed or frogged (if I can't identify what it was supposed to be). I'm planning on adding all of my yarn and books to my Ravelry stash and library as well.

On another, even happier note, my fiance has an interview scheduled for tomorrow morning. Even if he doesn't get accepted for the position, I'm really happy for him for even getting an interview so quickly in the first place.

It might actually turn out to be a good end to the year after all.
artanis: (Mirror's Edge: Faith on the Edge)
My fiance lost his job on Friday. We're trying to look at it semi-positively, though. He wasn't too happy with that job, plus he was driving nearly an hour to work each day (and another hour back home). From my understanding, his co-workers weren't that great, either.

Merry Christmas to us, I guess.

Since my Christmas crafting is nearly complete (10 more rows on that damn blanket!), I'm going to start making some stuff to (hopefully) sell in order to give us a bit of income. I still have the money I'm making every week by babysitting my nephew, but that's not nearly enough. I'm not expecting to make a fortune, but at least a few extra dollars will help... assuming anyone wants anything I make. I'm working on getting my camera working again, so I may consider Etsy or something similar, too. Honestly, I've wanted to start selling my crafts for a long time, so I think this is just the kick in the pants I needed to get me started.

We'll see how everything works out. Fingers crossed.
artanis: (Default)
I keep meaning to update, but I always manage to get distracted. By the time I remember, I end up getting distracted again... I'll get out of the cycle one of these days.

I'm nearly done with the blanket I'm making for my niece's Christmas present. Assuming I keep at it, I should be done by the end of the week (hopefully). And then I can move on to other projects, like getting a head-start on gifts for next year. Of course, I say that every year, and yet...

Speaking of Christmas, it really doesn't feel like it should be happening in two weeks, does it? I haven't even started shopping for my family yet. I should really get on that.

Oh, some good news! My fiance and I got tickets to go see a concert with some friends at the end of January. It's a video game concert put on by one of the area symphonies; not quite Video Games Live, but it should be close. I'm excited. :)

What else?

Uh... Guild Wars 2 has been sucking away my extra free time again. I nearly have my Guardian to 80, after which I plan on finishing up with my Mesmer's leveling, too. Oh, so much to do...

Well, I guess that about wraps it up for now. I have laundry waiting and a few rows of blanket to do.
artanis: (TR Reboot: Lara)
Good news for my computer. I got my new video card and power supply yesterday, so I've finally been able to play Guild Wars 2 for the first time in what seems like forever. No crashes or black screens! It's a damn miracle!
artanis: (TR Reboot: Lara)
Preparations are now underway for our yearly Halloween get-together. I know it'll be fun but I'm kind of dreading it, if only because that means moving my crafting clutter from one end of the house to the other to get it out of the way. :) I know my family gets a kick out of it, though. They all live in the country and don't get any trick-or-treaters, so coming into town and passing out candy is a bit of fun for everyone (and I don't get stuck buying all the candy!).

Over the weekend, my fiance and I rented and beat Resident Evil 6. Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about the game, and any feelings I do have aren't very good ones. We started with Leon's campaign and actually kind of liked it, but then it quickly devolved into us having to force ourselves to even start and finish both Chris and Jake's campaigns; I did Ada's campaign on my own (single player only, of course). Mercenaries was the best part of the game, but even that was lacking.

I think my biggest complaint was the lack of a "real" quick-turn. Yeah, you could run, slide, and whip around that way, but it was just awkward and inefficient. So, Capcom... if things aren't broken, don't fix them, okay?

Anyway... bedtime soon. I have my nephew early in the morning.
artanis: (She-Ra: Princess)
I feel like I should write something but I can't think of anything.

So... something.

The end.
artanis: (She-Ra: Princess)
As if it weren't obvious, I took a break again. It wasn't on purpose, exactly... I just have a very boring life and nothing fun or interesting to write about. :)

The wedding planning is coming along well. We've booked the ceremony and reception site, gotten the officiant, started making the centerpieces and bouquets (yay for my mom being crafty!), and we'll (hopefully) be booking a photographer this weekend. I know there's still a lot more to do, but we're getting there.

My sister started her first "real" job last week, so I've been watching my nephew on the days she has to go in. He just turned two at the beginning of the month and he's just as busy as ever. We go for walks every day that I have him, and watch Sesame Street, and color, and play with cars, and throw a ball around in the yard... it's fun being able to let loose for awhile.

I'm still semi-prepping for a craft show in November, or at least getting stock set for a show next year. I also have Christmas projects I need to get working on. My motivation sucks.
artanis: (Default)
I woke up early this morning so I decided to take a walk along the trail near our house. Normally I'd see one or two other people there, but I guess it was too early in the day because I was the only one there. It was kind of nice, actually... very quiet.

I must've been feeling better today because I saw a deer on the path, and my first thought was of GLaDOS' deer quote in Portal 2. Maybe I'll let my fiance sit in the living room while I tell him about the time I saw the deer.

I'm not even really sure what to do with the rest of my day. I guess that's the downside of waking up early.
artanis: (She-Ra: Princess)
Yesterday I joined Fitocracy. It seems like a fun place to get motivated to exercise, since I've been so bad about that lately. We'll see how it goes.

My mom's been pressuring me to go wedding dress shopping. Part of me wants to, but the other part of me just isn't ready for that yet. I seriously dislike my body, probably even more so now that I've lost some weight. Why? I have no idea.

Either way, on Friday I have to go to David's Bridal with my mom and sister so that she can try on dresses and I can find a bridesmaid dress (my sister's getting married next year, too). I have a feeling that I'll be talked into trying on a gown or two... and that will cause me to feel terrible about myself for the rest of the weekend. Ugh.

Think positive thoughts... think positive thoughts...

:(
artanis: (Default)
My sleeping has been so screwed up this week. The earliest I've gone to bed is 2:00 AM, while I normally prefer to be ready to sleep by midnight. I've been meaning to try to get up earlier too, but that hasn't been happening either. I'll be making an effort to change that over the weekend.

In other news, we'll (hopefully) be looking at some houses on Saturday. So excited! We just need to confirm some times with our realtor and see if my parents want to come along for the ride. We have a list of five places to look at, so hopefully we'll find something we like.
artanis: (She-Ra: Princess)
Tonight was my fiance's last day of work at the call center. He starts his new job on Monday. He's really excited and I'm really happy for him. :)

Before he got home, he texted me to ask if I would make a small something for one of his supervisors as a parting gift. He found a pattern for a tiny crochet Pufferfish that he thought she would like, so I went ahead and made one. I'll probably make another one before the night's over... or maybe two more!

I also feel like making myself a bracelet or something.
artanis: (Yellow Spring)
So, Diablo 3 arrived two weeks ago, which resulted in me vanishing from the internet and real life for quite awhile. Unfortunately, I'm not as far into the game as I'd have liked to be since I have to manage multiple characters for multiple play sessions (a solo character, one I play with my fiance, and one I play with a group).

After such a long wait, I feel bad saying that the game really didn't live up to my expectations. I think the worst part is the story, which seemed really forced and cliche. Oh, well... it just launched, so I'll give them time to work the kinks out.

In other news, we weren't home much at all this weekend. On Saturday we went to a White Caps baseball game with my family and then to Steak 'n Shake afterwards. Sunday was spent with friends - we saw The Avengers (first time for them, second for us), then went to their house for pizza and visiting. We didn't get home until nearly 1:00 AM both days. Yesterday was a cookout at my parents' house, but that only lasted for a few hours.

Well... back to killing demons.
artanis: (Default)
It's been awhile. I figure it's time for a small (somewhat random) update.

Saint Charles was pretty awesome and we had a fantastic time at the concert. We also had a great time at Medieval Times in Schaumburg. I didn't want to go home. :)

I managed to gather the entire collection of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic toys from McDonald's. I wasn't able to get Rarity during the promotion (they never seemed to have her) and had resigned myself to only having a partial collection, but my fiance surprised me by ordering her from somewhere. My desk is 20% cooler now.

My fiance and I recently joined a local Celtic/Viking reenactment group. I've never done reenactment before, but my inner history nerd is loving every minute of it. The first event is going to be this summer, so I hope to be ready by then.

Speaking of my fiance, I really should find another way to refer to him on here. Hmm.

I went to an emergency dentist today for some jaw pain and swelling that I've had all week. They couldn't do much for me since I can't open my mouth all the way, but I did manage to get some antibiotics and prescription ibuprofen and Tylenol. I'm supposed to go back in a week or so as an emergency patient, but I honestly don't think I'll be able to do that because of transportation issues. I have a regular appointment set up for the beginning of June, though, so I'll probably wait until then (assuming the prescriptions work).

My Walk to Rivendell has been on hold since we got back from Saint Charles. Life's gotten in the way, so I haven't been able to keep up my normal schedule. I'm also changing up my workouts a bit and the new stuff I'm doing doesn't translate to mileage very well. We'll see what happens.

I think that about covers it for now.
artanis: (Default)
So, with less than a week left before we head to Saint Charles, Illinois, I end up catching a cold or something. It's mostly my throat, which I suppose is a semi-good thing; the last thing I want is to be blowing my nose and coughing during the Video Games Live concert. Still, I'll be picking up extra throat lozenges at the store tonight, just in case.

It still sucks, though. I woke up this morning hardly able to talk, but it's a little better now that I've had some hot tea and honey. I just hope this goes away by the time we leave on Friday morning.

On a brighter note, we went shopping on Saturday and bought some nice clothes for the concert. My fiance got his first real suit - as in, a new suit that actually fits him instead of mismatched hand-me-downs. He was in the men's department of JC Penney for over an hour, being measured and fawned over by an associate who helped him with everything - suit, tie, socks, shirt, shoes, etc. Given some of my previous (bad) experience at that particular store (which, to be fair, was years ago), I was really impressed with the salesman. Yeah, I know he's just looking to make a sale, but it felt like he really went beyond what he needed to do, and my fiance walked away a lot happier knowing that he's "gonna look good" (his words). I think he already looks good, but it's a nice confidence boost for him anyway.

I was going to try finding a dress for myself there, but I honestly felt a little intimidated when I walked around. Even with the changes I've been making, I'm still not comfortable enough with my body to talk around the plus-sized section of a normal store... I just get the feeling that everyone's staring at me, so I'd rather go to a full plus-sized store and fit in with everyone else. I'm not sure if that makes any sense out loud or not, but... that's how it is, I suppose.

We ended up at Lane Bryant since it was close by. A nice woman working there helped me guesstimate my size (since I had no clue), and helped me pick out five or so dresses that might work. I didn't think the size she guessed would fit, so I was pretty damn shocked when it fit perfectly. I think I almost cried in the dressing room because, OMG, I'm actually developing curves. I just never noticed before because I hide myself underneath really baggy clothing. Out of the five dresses, I narrowed it down to three that I liked, and bought two of those three. The third dress, that I loved more than the others, wasn't available at the store in my "new" size (the one I tried on was a size smaller and only a little tight in the chest - the rest fit perfect!), and it wouldn't have gotten here in time for our trip if I'd ordered it. Sad, but I decided that it'll be my reward for sticking with these changes I'm making and I'm going to order it in the smaller size that I tried on in the store when I reach that point. So there. :)

Concert dress
A shrug for the concert dress, except mine's in pink
Second dress
Potential reward dress

Tonight we're heading out to find some shoes for me, as well as picking up any extra things we might need for the trip. So excited!

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