So it's been decided.

We're leaving.

... I'm not really sure how I'm feeling at the moment. Defeated, mostly.

My efforts to wake up early last week were cut short. I came down with a cold early last week and it pretty much knocked me on my ass. I'm mostly over it now, though I think I may have an ear infection or something. It's not fun, but I'm not going to use it as an excuse; I'm getting right back up on that horse this week. So there.

With any luck, my fiance will be ready to start his sales this weekend. I've got my fingers crossed for him.

Guild Wars 2 has been pretty fun with our group so far. After getting to 80, I decided that I didn't want to main an Elementalist, so I'm leveling up a Ranger to tag along with the group. We also managed to get two more people from my fiance's gaming group interested in the game, so now there's seven of us running around and leveling. It should be fun when the majority of them get to 30 and we can start running dungeons a bit more.

And as a final note, peanut butter cookies will be made tomorrow! Yay!

Another new year, another attempt at changes.

I was looking through some of my old entries and realized just how little I managed to accomplish this year. A lot dreams that I kept putting off and random failures, but there's not really a point to dwelling on the negative now, right? Right.

I will do at least one craft show this year. I have the time, along with the means and motivation. My craft stashes have been sorted and projects have already been started.

I will be able to run a 5k this year. Maybe not an official race, but I will manage to make myself run three miles. I have a route mapped out from my walks last summer that works out perfectly. I don't care if it takes me an hour to run it, I'm doing it this year.

Being more social. I never open up to conversations, even online. This journal has no added friends on it. I've quit playing decent MMOs due to not having a guild. I've been a member of Ravelry since 2008, yet I've never even made one post on any of the forums. Why? Because I'm too shy and embarrassed to put myself out there. This needs to stop.

My body won't beat me. Over the past year I've managed to lose nearly 50 pounds. While I recognize that it's a lot of weight gone, it's still not enough for me. I know it's a cliche goal, but with the wedding coming up, I can't think of a better time to get back into the swing of things.

Get back to cooking. I've slacked off a lot when it comes to preparing meals at home, especially during the holidays. It's easy to just grab a frozen meal or fast food while we're out, but I miss real food.

Sort all the things, especially clothes. My closet's a mess. That's really all that needs to be said about that.

It's not every goal I have, but it's something to start with. Hopefully this year will be a good one.

My fiance lost his job on Friday. We're trying to look at it semi-positively, though. He wasn't too happy with that job, plus he was driving nearly an hour to work each day (and another hour back home). From my understanding, his co-workers weren't that great, either.

Merry Christmas to us, I guess.

Since my Christmas crafting is nearly complete (10 more rows on that damn blanket!), I'm going to start making some stuff to (hopefully) sell in order to give us a bit of income. I still have the money I'm making every week by babysitting my nephew, but that's not nearly enough. I'm not expecting to make a fortune, but at least a few extra dollars will help... assuming anyone wants anything I make. I'm working on getting my camera working again, so I may consider Etsy or something similar, too. Honestly, I've wanted to start selling my crafts for a long time, so I think this is just the kick in the pants I needed to get me started.

We'll see how everything works out. Fingers crossed.

Preparations are now underway for our yearly Halloween get-together. I know it'll be fun but I'm kind of dreading it, if only because that means moving my crafting clutter from one end of the house to the other to get it out of the way. :) I know my family gets a kick out of it, though. They all live in the country and don't get any trick-or-treaters, so coming into town and passing out candy is a bit of fun for everyone (and I don't get stuck buying all the candy!).

Over the weekend, my fiance and I rented and beat Resident Evil 6. Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about the game, and any feelings I do have aren't very good ones. We started with Leon's campaign and actually kind of liked it, but then it quickly devolved into us having to force ourselves to even start and finish both Chris and Jake's campaigns; I did Ada's campaign on my own (single player only, of course). Mercenaries was the best part of the game, but even that was lacking.

I think my biggest complaint was the lack of a "real" quick-turn. Yeah, you could run, slide, and whip around that way, but it was just awkward and inefficient. So, Capcom... if things aren't broken, don't fix them, okay?

Anyway... bedtime soon. I have my nephew early in the morning.

I woke up early this morning so I decided to take a walk along the trail near our house. Normally I'd see one or two other people there, but I guess it was too early in the day because I was the only one there. It was kind of nice, actually... very quiet.

I must've been feeling better today because I saw a deer on the path, and my first thought was of GLaDOS' deer quote in Portal 2. Maybe I'll let my fiance sit in the living room while I tell him about the time I saw the deer.

I'm not even really sure what to do with the rest of my day. I guess that's the downside of waking up early.

Tonight was my fiance's last day of work at the call center. He starts his new job on Monday. He's really excited and I'm really happy for him. :)

Before he got home, he texted me to ask if I would make a small something for one of his supervisors as a parting gift. He found a pattern for a tiny crochet Pufferfish that he thought she would like, so I went ahead and made one. I'll probably make another one before the night's over... or maybe two more!

I also feel like making myself a bracelet or something.

So, with less than a week left before we head to Saint Charles, Illinois, I end up catching a cold or something. It's mostly my throat, which I suppose is a semi-good thing; the last thing I want is to be blowing my nose and coughing during the Video Games Live concert. Still, I'll be picking up extra throat lozenges at the store tonight, just in case.

It still sucks, though. I woke up this morning hardly able to talk, but it's a little better now that I've had some hot tea and honey. I just hope this goes away by the time we leave on Friday morning.

On a brighter note, we went shopping on Saturday and bought some nice clothes for the concert. My fiance got his first real suit - as in, a new suit that actually fits him instead of mismatched hand-me-downs. He was in the men's department of JC Penney for over an hour, being measured and fawned over by an associate who helped him with everything - suit, tie, socks, shirt, shoes, etc. Given some of my previous (bad) experience at that particular store (which, to be fair, was years ago), I was really impressed with the salesman. Yeah, I know he's just looking to make a sale, but it felt like he really went beyond what he needed to do, and my fiance walked away a lot happier knowing that he's "gonna look good" (his words). I think he already looks good, but it's a nice confidence boost for him anyway.

I was going to try finding a dress for myself there, but I honestly felt a little intimidated when I walked around. Even with the changes I've been making, I'm still not comfortable enough with my body to talk around the plus-sized section of a normal store... I just get the feeling that everyone's staring at me, so I'd rather go to a full plus-sized store and fit in with everyone else. I'm not sure if that makes any sense out loud or not, but... that's how it is, I suppose.

We ended up at Lane Bryant since it was close by. A nice woman working there helped me guesstimate my size (since I had no clue), and helped me pick out five or so dresses that might work. I didn't think the size she guessed would fit, so I was pretty damn shocked when it fit perfectly. I think I almost cried in the dressing room because, OMG, I'm actually developing curves. I just never noticed before because I hide myself underneath really baggy clothing. Out of the five dresses, I narrowed it down to three that I liked, and bought two of those three. The third dress, that I loved more than the others, wasn't available at the store in my "new" size (the one I tried on was a size smaller and only a little tight in the chest - the rest fit perfect!), and it wouldn't have gotten here in time for our trip if I'd ordered it. Sad, but I decided that it'll be my reward for sticking with these changes I'm making and I'm going to order it in the smaller size that I tried on in the store when I reach that point. So there. :)

Concert dress
A shrug for the concert dress, except mine's in pink
Second dress
Potential reward dress

Tonight we're heading out to find some shoes for me, as well as picking up any extra things we might need for the trip. So excited!

A bit of a slow day today.

Last night I made this strawberry mousse for tonight's dessert, since it was our bi-monthly dinner at my parents' house. My mom ended up having to cancel and move dinner to next week, so my fiance and I will be eating mousse all week long. I'm somehow okay with this. :)

We didn't have any other plans, so I decided to make something for my niece and nephew for Valentine's Day. I had a big box of 96 crayons that I bought last year and hadn't done anything with, so I melted them down into larger crayons using my silicone baking trays. I know my niece will get a kick out of the shapes and colors, but I mostly had my nephew in mind when I made them since crayons are a little hard for him to hold onto (he's almost 18 months old).

I kind of want to go buy more crayons to melt now.

After a day of relaxing, I think I've finally recovered from Christmas.

I woke up earlier than what I'd wanted to on Christmas morning, all thanks to my cold. My fiance woke up shortly afterward, so I made us some hot tea and we exchanged presents. He spoiled me rotten this year, I swear. He got me the extended edition Blu-ray set of The Lord of the Rings, a hardcover copy of The Hobbit, and a gorgeous necklace with a blue topaz stone. I think the necklace was the most surprising thing; we've been together for over eight years, and he's never gotten me jewelry. Granted, I never ask for it, but still... it was really thoughtful of him, and I love it so much.

As for gifts I gave to him: Two PS3 games (Ace Combat: Assault Horizon and Metal Gear Solid 4 - both games he'd specifically asked for), a demotivational calendar from ThinkGeek, a replica of the 10th Doctor's sonic screwdriver (also from ThinkGeek), the Invincible CD by Two Steps from Hell, a miniature remote-control helicopter, and a set of 3 display swords. I probably spent more than I should have, but Christmas is the one time of year I'm able to afford to spoil him a bit. My fiance really deserves it for supporting me and the decisions I've made over the years.

My parents had dinner at their house again this year. We had the usual Christmas dinner - turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, gravy, etc. My Aunt Pat and her son were there, which was surprising since they never show up to family functions. My grandpa was also supposed to call from California to talk to my sister and I, but he didn't. I can't say I'm too surprised by that one, though. I haven't spoken to him since I was in sixth grade, and he really hasn't shown an interest in his own children's lives, let alone his grandchildren. Regardless, we had a good time with my family and made sure to bring home plenty of leftovers.

Now to just start making holiday plans for next year...